moose is sick

But he's be OK. So said the Vet at 1am after I rushed the little pooch across town through the midnight streets.

Earlier this evening he started behaving weird, all floppy and poor-me-ish. I took him for a walk and he lay down on teh dirty grass, rolled his big black eyes up and me and look so helpless that I decided to carry him back home.

He flopped into his bed and then squealed every time I tried to stroke him. It got so bad that I guessed something had burst inside him, I couldn't move him at all and his breathing was weak. I called the vets and was told to come over right away for an emergency appointment (£168) which I did so driving at speed (camera caught me £60) and they then gave him an injection (£40) and some pills (£5 billion) and then took the shirt off my back and stole my trousers, leaving me literally naked and peniless. Since then I have been walking the streets playing my flute and living off my wits.

No actually what really happened was that moose was indeed in terrific pain and I did rush across town and I did get flashed at by the cameras and I did agree to pay the extortinate late night vets fee of £168 but as soon as I arrived and put moose on teh floor in his bed (he couldn't be lifted alone without squealing) and turned my back to him he got up and trotted around, tra la la, happy as larry the dog.

Moose! Are you trying to make me look bad? Now I'm the one that looks like the drama queen when you were the one squealing.

Well the vet did check him over and I did pay the fee and it does turn out that moose has got some weird neck pain going on. And there's more money out of my life and less sleep in it.

I tell you: no dog, no cry.  Isn;t that right Bob?